Time to take a step back and be content with what we have instead of jumping on the hedonic treadmill and saying suprise me.
Learn the pleasure of a life lived slowly.


Mid-ugly pale alt-girl with big tits. She's ugly and I hate her but ive already subsumed her into a deranged idealization and have been engaged in a deeply unhealthy relationship with her in my head where i scream at her for being a disgusting retard and then apologize hours later when she's attempted suicide because of it I dont even know her name, and she has no idea I exist and never will because i loathe women; instead she sits there and talks with her gay best friend while i write stories on my phone about the heat death of Europe and the bloodshed of the modern Kali Yuga

This is what the new intern at work looks like and he's not even a downy. He's also shorter than me. My coworker asked him,"How many terabytes of storage do you have on your PC?"Him: "How'd you know I have a PC?"Today he is shadowing me at work and I keep assuring him that our sleepover would be "freakin sweet" and that we'd "talk about girls all night"

Woman is, archetypally and materially, dependent on a man. She can not fulfill herself mentally absent a partner, and as a subset of their own they are reliant on men to justify their own existence To have one group exist in an objective reality, and to make the other one live as an undefinable shifting mass, necessitates the reliance of the latter on the former, for without a barometer to hold it to subjectivity is nothing. Eve was borne of Adams rib. Forever woman will carry this reality along with her. The only way to be at peace with it is to accept and understand this


Poor Hoe Equilibrium Theory: The impoverished woman whos sole income is predicated on her sexual desirability (like say an only fans girl) will obviously make more money if she is skinny than if she is fat. We can assume that a morbidly fat individual will make significantly less money than a very skinny one, this lends itself to an imagined equilibrium: a fat woman wont make enough money to sustain her weight, so she'll lose fat. Upon losing enough fat she will begin making money and, inevitably gain weight. This suggests that eventually she will reach an equilibrium where her weight allows her to make enough money to pay for self-maintenance.

pale face and sunken eyes. a timid and restrained demea

nor. 

jet black hair strained down to her shoulders. a red and black flannel skirt paired with a long sleeved black shirt and black pants. the visage of a specific type of girl, bullied and weird, mal-socialized.

In years past such a person had meaning in their faith essence. A loving housewife, a lost romantic, an optimistic introvert, sedated and reserved, waiting for warm kindness to thaw a bleak world

My eyes turned to the right of her overcast face. The wide smiling maw of some kinky haired mestizo greeted me, to my immediate shock and displeasure. Black locks shining with grease and skin pourous and spotted. Black eyes beset by brown skin. He made some joke, it looked like she cheered up. Their arms were locked together demarcating her as his.

Even in a past life she's not meant for me. I dont like the look nor the type.
 I have no impulse to be that warmth she lacks.But this is injustice to see- how his black beady eyes glinted; "I've won!"I can never forgive those who let this scene come to pass.

Its about these little things, to live, to experience, to know. To go about life without experiencing it is waste. To only live for experience is folly.Its to live with purpose while not letting that purpose distract you from living. I think this world is really, truly, beautiful . Even in its sick tragedy